The long goodbye

steve me and ames are all leaving Hull this summer its so weird and is taking me such a long time to gt my head around. Last night me and the housemates threw steve a surprise leaving party. It was alot of fun an the house wasn't trashed - hurray for christians!! Bit gutted Steve didn't cry though!

Thought i would be more upset than i was - realised it wasn't because i dont love steveo and will miss him alot but because it is the first goodbye of many. It's just gonna get harder and harder - anyway steve will be back i'm sure. Although i wont be...

It's coming back!!!

There are rumours that there is going to be a one hour Spaced special at christmas. HURRAY!!

Work rest and play

The sermon Jeremy preached yesterday has really been on my mind. He was talking about how we have been created to work and that we should work hard and honestly and do it all for the Glory of God. My job quite simply is boring, it doesn't challenge me and i spend alot of the counting down the hours till home, or a tea break, or lunch.

People need their post collecting, breakfast ordering, letters typing so i should just get on and do it to the very best of my ability rather than waiting for my next break or time in the filing cupboard (when i can sing and no one can hear me ha ha!). It's time i started making every single second count for God.

I guess i'm just turning my hand to whatever comes my way - that's the very nature of temp work. Maybe i'll be waiting a long time to see God's promises for my life fufilled so its about time i stopped wasting my now.

xxxx

ps the boys were being annoying in the pub last night they said quiz machines were better than girls cos there was a straight yes or no answer with a quiz machine. i felt the need to blog about it.

mmm

Feeling at the moment like my life has been thrown up in the air and i just have to wait and see where God let's it fall. It's exciting but its also really hard not to try and make it fall where i'd like it to! Knowing a bit of the picture is enough for me at the mo and i have to keep reminding myself i dont need to see it all yet.

cryptic enough?

Feel the fear and do it anyway...

This weekend I'm going Bivvying with the youth group from church. Bivvying is basically me, Tommy, an ex-SAS man and a bunch of 14/15 yr old boys going out on the yorkshire dales and making our own shelters to sleep out in over night. I am so so scared!

It's going to be lots of fun though and i have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it in the end!!

I've been thinking alot about fear recently - I'm reading a self help type book called 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. Not because i'm particularly fearful person but because i found it in a charity sale for 50p! Alot of it isn't really applicaple to me cos they dont take Jesus into the equation but on the whole its full of pretty sensible advice. Its got me thinking about how the devil uses it as one of his most paralising weapons and yet what is it? Nothing.

Fear's a funny thing it stops me from doing some of the things i want to do most in the world. The biggest thing it stops me from doing is sharing the gospel and i can find no rational explanation for why what so ever. For years i have been trying to pin point exactly what it is that i'm scared of. I cant really find it. Christ has given me a spirit of boldness and not of timidity so i think it's high time that i started to feel the fear and do it anyway! ha ha

xxx

we are family

Being at home again after living away for so long is always interesting and definately not with out its fireworks!! Lots of readjusting needing to be done by most of us. The summer should be fun when i'll be home for longer than a weekend!!

This is a family photo from tenerife - squiff is a comedy genius!!

New Shoes

Bought these little beauies while on holiday. Made my first few days back at work so much better :)

holiday musings

Returned from Tenerife on tuesday night after a very restful family holiday. It seems odd to use the word restful and family in the same sentence, especially my mental family, but that is what is was. Plenty of time to read ('Life after God' - Douglass Coupland, 'Mere Christianity' - C.S Lewis and 'Sense and Sensibilty' - Jane Austen) ), sleep, annoy my brothers and think.

I had a lot of time to think, holidays are good for that. With all the thinking it finally hit me that i am actually going to be leaving Hull in just a matter of months. I simply wont be here any more. To be honest i got a bit mad with God - why does he want everyone else (nearly) to stay here and be part of this crazy thing and not me? Why hasn't He made a place for me here?
I know the answers (some of them) but it didn't stop me having a little moan and feel a bit sorry for myself. I am going to miss this place so much, it's my home and i'll have to be so careful not to leave my heart behind.

For now i'll lean not on my own understanding and trust Him. Trust that he has everything sorted, trust that he has a bigger and better plan for me, trust that the next bit will be the launchpad into the rest of my life with Him. An exciting and scary adventure with God - why would i want anything less?

Ps. Off to see Mogwai tonight, totally forgot about it, forgot about a gig?? things are changing...