You're like a doctor but your medicine is for the soul...

Man what a truely amazing week.

This week we have been at London Southbank University everyday with a bookstall full of bibles and books in 11 different languages. The response from the students has been amazing they have been really touched by the fact that we have bibles in their own language.

I've been chatting to people from all over the wolrd all week, from many different background cultures and religions and i've had an opportunity to share the gospel with nearly all of them.

One lovely hindu guy i met told said 'You're like a doctor but your medicine is for the soul', he took a bible Bengali and let me pray for him there and then to meet with the one true God. It was beautiful. God has great plans for that university and i'm so blessed to be used by Him.I love doing what i've been created to do.I just pray that in the next few weeks and months i'll be operating more the prophetic and seeing signs, wonders and salvation on campus.

come on!

Oh Belle and Sebastian

I have really been enjoying the re-runs of Teachers on trouble at the moment. I had forgotten how much Belle and Sebastian they used in the sound track and it has made me very very happy. I love belle andsebastian so much, they are definately the sound track to my mis-understood tenage years! Late nineties indie pop was so brilliant. got me thinking about Kenickie, Ooberman, Wheat, early Gomez, Kay, Salako and pretty much anything else on the Jeepster label. mmmm lovely.

Am wearing my 2001 Radiohead hoody today for nostalgic reasons. i bought it at the Big Tent tour just before Kid A was brought out. I took a day of sixth form just to lie and bed and listen to it! Brilliant.Just thinking alot about how awsome music is, and how much i obsessively love it thank you Jesus!

think i'm going to spend an indulgent evening watching my belle and sebastian fans only dvd. ha ha what a music bore!

not even if he was the right kind of fat and funny...

Met up with an old friend yesterday, we had a good catchup. He filled me in on the details of his recent engagement. Usually such information would bore me very quickly or depress me slightly.

Not yesterday.

God has been right at the centre of it all, every inch of the relationship and where it is heading. It was really lovely to hear and so refreshing. It made me see that for me to be single at the moment is absolutely God's best for my life right now. I am able to focus on my work in an amazing way and God is doing great things in my ministry at All Saints, i am able to give Him my all, including my mind, my brain and my time!

God's been doing some pretty good work in me over the past couple of weeks in reguard to relationships - i didn't even realise it was something that needed to be done! i have been content being single since moving to London, safe in the knowledge that if i met someone that would be cool but i'm not looking for it. Today i realised i dont even want to be in a relationship. I am very joyful in my singleness. Its God's best for me right now and i dont want it anyother way, it was quite the revelation! Even if someone who was the right kind of fat and funny came along i wouldn't want it right now.

God gave me a picture last week based on the verse "let us run with percverance the race marked out for us, let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith"I was running in a running lane with my eyes firmly fixed on Jesus, running the path He had set out for me. then i saw that my husband was running in the track next to me, suddenly our paths had started running in the same direction and the same route.This is the case for all the things i'm looking for in my life. God will bring them at the right time, running thesame way, i dont have to go looking for them just keep my eyes on Him and where's He's leading me. it's all so exciting

power in sacrifice

I'm a firm beleiver that God puts us in places with certain people to show us things and open our worlds - he has been doing that alot with me today. Exciting plans and wonders are beginning to brew.

Thought i'd share a little from my prayer journal, something i was mulling over last night.

Been thinking about communion and the fact that i still after years and years i dont really get it. The King of Kings in all his majesty became a human, a weak human, was beaten and broken. we drink that blood, we are washed in that blood. There is great power in it because of his humility. In His humble blood there is great power.

Power in blameless sacrifice - it harnesses all the power of creation - of heaven - of the universe. It ripped the veil in the temple, cracked the rocked where Aslan was killed. Humility has the victory over death, over EVERYTHING EVER. that broken and beaten man hanging from the tree transformed the world and changed eternity.

While He was on the earth he valued the things that the world couldn't even see. He ate with the ones the wolrd dispised. Even his disciples, those closest to Him only saw Him through a glass darkly, didn't understand.

He turned the priorities of the wolrd upside down and he is still doing it today. he longs for us to do the same. To unleash that ancient power of old by acting out of humility and love.

To go in to battle with a towel round our waist and mud on our knees. The battle is won as we feed the poor, love the unloveable, befriend the rejected, father the fatherless.

There is ultimate power in the sacrifice - in the unseen sacrifice.

I haven't been able to shake the image of Aslan after the stone table had been cracked in two. That is the Mighty God we serve today. His voice thunders over the waters and yet He beat death through a painful death on the cross.i want to live my life with that same power. i want to unlockthe power of the cross in my life, the power of sacrifice and love.

Smith - gone but not forgotten

On monday night my hamster Smith died.It has made me much sadder than i thought it would which makes me feel slightly pathetic!

She was 2 1/2 and died peacefully in her sleep, i reckon thats pretty good going for a hamster.

She was a good hamster named after Smith Wigglesworth eventhough she was a girl.

She only ever bit one person once and that's becuase she thought it was a carrot.

She was very tame and lovely and used to run around my room in her little plastic ball.

Once steve put vaseline in her fur to make her a punk hamster and from then on no boys were EVER allowed to touch her.

Mum and dad had been looking after her for the past three months cos i'm not allowed pets in my new house. I missed her.

and now she's dead, that sucks.

yearning for wales, teenagers, fancy dress and Jesus...

This is the first new year in 9 years that i have not speant in Monmouth at The crusaders in wales new years houseparty. It's basically 5 days speant with 100ish young people aged 14-18 and a bunch of slightly unhinged leaders, playing, praying and hearing from God.

The last new year i wasn't there was 97/98 when i was 14 - i went to a party in my friends harriet bingley's village hall.

The houseparty is awsome because it is time to put aside and spend going deeper with God. To give proper time to reflect on the last year and to give time to praying in the new one.

I dont think i can quite put into words how much i love the houseparty. I have made some absolutely vital friendships there over the years. Some people who i may only see once a year but who have now known me for a long time, some who have since become an important part of my everyday life, some i'm realted to and some i have fancied.

Ed Dix who used to be the student worker before me at All Saints i first met at the houseparty when i was 15, its through the houseparty i first heard about and fell in love with Peckham and All Saints! Mental! Nick and Sally from our youth team have taken some of our youth this year.

I decided foolishly that this year was time for a year off. That perhaps i have let the houseparty have too much of a significance in my life. Yesterday my brother Squiff packed up the car (3 guitars, cello, amp, small bag!) and drove off. Two hours later i get a phone call "Meg Meg guess who's my dorm leader...it's Nick". I worry, i work with Nick and he is learning how to wind me up very well and now he is sharing a room with my 18 yr old brother for 5 days, i'm hoping not to many stories will be swapped or techniques for annoying meg will be shared! oh well.

I miss it i wish i was there. Instead i have a theology essay to write. Going up to Hull for new years eve so that will be fun. i wont be dressed as a pirate though, oh well least there's always next year...

malibu?

On wednesday 13 of us went to France for the day for nick's birthday. It was very fun. However it was also a very long day - starting at 6am and finishing at 1.30am, and i ate ALOT of sweets. Sugar and sleep deprivation is not a good combination.

Good things about the day;
sweets
dressing up as a french person
the beachNick's face
buying bangers
setting off said bangers
the police coming to investigate noise caused by said bangers
Nick's face
new people
the shop selling guns and swords
speaking in Irish
Nick's face
Laughing so hard my eyes nearly popped out
Sally eating custard eventhough it makes her hyper
not gettinbg sea sick
the surname Silley
Nick's face

Bad things
getting sunburn
the only cheap alcohol i returned with was a bottle of Pinapple Malibu - WHAT WAS I THINKING? I dont even like Malibu very much, why didn't i get something i liked? like wine or beer or even whiskey. Sleep and sweets had addled my brain to the extent of thinking the only thing worth while getting was Malibu. i am so ashamed.

Pieces of the puzzle

Mike Lloyd quoted bits of a poem by Lawrence Kushner at Monday Theology last week which really got me pondering.

"Each lifetime is te pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle...
...But know this.
No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
...Everyone carries within them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they dont.
And when you present your piece...
...To another, whether you know it or not,
Whether they know it or not,
You are a messenger from the Most High"

Kushner has remarked on the poem " It's rarely the author or featured speaker who has your puzzle pieces. It's usually someone who has a bit part inyour life whose name is not recorded in the programme."

Who has the pieces of the puzzle of my life?

God gave me a picture this morning during staff worship of a puzzle. He speaks to the whole church individually, giving us all very different pieces of His puzzle. It is only when we put them all together that we have the complete picture. Although someone else's piece may be totally different to mine it does not mean that they wont eventually fit together to make a bigger more beautiful picture.

Mike Lloyd quoted bits of a poem by Lawrence Kushner at Monday Theology last week which really got me pondering.

"Each lifetime is te pieces of a jigsaw puzzel.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle...
...But know this.
No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle....
Everyone carries within them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they dont.
And when you present your piece...
...To another, whether you know it or not,Whether they know it or not,You are a messenger from the Most High"Kushner has remarked on the poem " It's rarely the author or featured speaker who has your puzzle pieces. It's usually someone who has a bit part inyour life whose name is not recorded in the programme."Who has the pieces of the puzzle of my life?God gave me a picture this morning during staff worship of a puzzle. He speaks to the whole church individually, giving us all very different pieces of His puzzle. It is only when we put them all together that we have the complete picture. Although someone else's piece may be totally different to mine it does not mean that they wont eventually fit together to make a bigger more beautiful picture.

feeling 14

ever had a teenage week? that's how i'm feeling this week. i'm so tired that all of my emotions have been over exagerated to the extent of feeling forteen again, man it was hard work and its hard work for all those having to come into contact wit me. My mouth feels old, i'm not entirely sure what an old mouth is but this week i definately have one, and my eyes almost sting from the weight of having to hold them open.

Things that usually wouldn't bother me have been bringing me close to tears. I know that things had got to a really bad place when i found myself crying while watching that ridiculous wedding scene in love actually. I shouldn't have been watching love actually in the first place. I hate that film, it's manipulative, over sentimental rubbish, but there i was on wednesday nighty sniffleling at the wedding scene. I would like to point out that my sniffleling was becuase i thought it was really beautiful not because i was feeling sorry for myself. It was definately time for bed at that point.

I will get my rest, it is greatly needed and i'm looking forward to it. I got some yesteday afternoon watching adam and joe and then falling asleep on the sofa with sarah and sal, under sarah's duvet, it was nice.

Incidentally the first serise of Adam and Joe has really dated. Amazing 90s hair cuts and checked shirts - which didn't really help in the whole not trying to feel forteen again thing. Also for much of this week i have been wearing my christmas jumper which is a snowflake jumper i bought from gap when i was in year eight. It's 10 years old - brilliant.

sorry dont really know where this post is going,its just some sleepy ramblings from inside my head that i thought i would bless the internet with, you lucky lucky people. sorry.

stop.

Enough?

God's been speaking to me quite a bit the past few days about whether i think He is enough for me or not.

I feel like there is a hole inside me, a never ending God-shaped void. I try and fill it with other things which just end up covering it on a completely surface level. I look for fufillment in all sorts of different friendships and relationships and then fall back on God when they dont quite cut it. They go nowhere near to filling it.

Everytime i look to these things rather than God its as if i'm saying to him that he is not enough for me. How can the creator of the universe, my saviour, the great deep not be enough for me? Of course He is more than enough, He is everything i could ever want or need, i just dont believe it in my heart, i look to other things instead.

As Rachel pointed out to me the other day how can a hole that can only be filled by an eternal being be filled by anything else? And yet i desperately try to.

I look to Jesus as my default posistion - bare with me. When everything else falls down around me i think 'oh well at least i still have Christ'

It's like that Snow Patrol song

"I see now that You are all that i have"

That is how i view God - i want to move from viewing Him as all i have to everything that i could possibley ever need and everything that i could possibiley ever want, God is not a consolation prize and yet everyday i behave in a way that suggests that that is exactly how i view Him.

I'm also realising that there is so much more of God to be explored. Have you had enough of me? there is so much more. More than i could possibley ever imagine.

Isaiah 40 says

" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom."

I want so much more of God, i realise that He is calling me to go deeper and i am determined to live that out rather than simply reflect on it.

Is God enough fo you?

Moving to about life

check out www.aboutlife.com/meg for more meg blogging activity,

there may be the odd post on here but the majourity of blogging will be at about life and less pink. x x x

Dinner...

If you could invite three people dead or alive around for dinner who would it be?

you must also think about the dynamics of the dinner party.

Mine would be

Stuart from Belle and Sebastian
Smith Wigglesworth
Simon Pegg

City Life

This saturday a group of us got out of Peckham and went for a walk in the beautiful Kent countryside. I entered into the whole out in the countryside thing and decided to have a pint of Ale while frequenting the local pub.

It was really good to get out of London. Most people since i have been living here have said how important it is to get out of the city every once in the while and i can see what they mean. you know what though? i love London and Peckham especially. i really wasn't sure that i would though.

I grew up in a tiny village in Oxfordshire and then moved to hull which isn't exactly vast. When i knew God was calling me to London i would often break out into minor panics becasue London was so big and it terrified me. It's so much faster than anything i have ever been used to before. i could easily get so lost here, and i often do! But it's brilliant its the centre of so many amazing things, there is so much going on and so much to get involved with it is what i have always been longing for - to be in the centre of somewhere that is truely buzzing.

Being surrounded by God's creation is beautiful and restoring but what i find even more restoring is being surrounded by God's best creation - people and living inPeckham i definately am.

Christmas is coming

Today i'm thinking about Christmas, i know i shouldn't because it's only the 1st November but i am and i love it. I think it has something to do with the fact i am wearing one of my winter cardigans today. Me and Bill have been singing caroles in the office, working for the church is great becuase i can well and truely get caught up in the build up to christmas, got to be careful not to over do it though.

i will miss christmas in bransholme though - the tack there was unbelievable!

A little sleepy

Today i'm tired, my body is exhausted and i have bags under my eyes the size of suitcases, its either bags or smudged make-up.

I guess this is the price you pay when you're fighting on the front line and when you put everything you are into everything you do.

I'm taking time out and i'm grabbing my rest because the fight is unrelenting and there is much to be done.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will rest rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

God is holding on to me so tightly, guiding me, loving me, restoring me, challenging me, breaking me, singing over me. Although i'm shattered my soul is so rested and i'm still so excited to be used by Him.

A little true story to entertain

This beautiful young man shares an office with me and has done for the past 6 weeks. His name is Eddie. On Friday night i had a party at my house, my kitchen was mostly full of my housemates friends who i didn't know.

I was in a slightly naughty mood so was easily persuaded to change my outfit completely and re-introduce myself to the party as my indentical twin sister Gem (Meg backwards). I left the house rang the door bell and started the confusion.

Gem has just graduated in business and ecconomics and is looking for a job in journalism, hopefully with the financial times. I/she was chatting to a couple of people i had just met who had no reason to doubt me, it was quite fun lying to their face but i felt quite deceptive so went off to introduce Gem to my mates from work. Eddie was my first target, he was a little sceptical to begin with but pretty soon he took the bait hook line and sinker.

I then went out and changed back into Meg. When i re-entered the room eddie's face was a picture, utterly convinced at this point that he had just been chatting to my twin sister and that he had really offended her by not believing she wasn't me. I pointed out that it happens alot because we have the same face! Ha ha.

I have been sitting next to eddie at work for the past 6 weeks - surely in that time i would have mentioned my twin?

Brilliant.

x x x

Mmm

Sunday night saw Jason McNiff (www.myspace.com/jasonmcniff) play at a pub in Nunhead called Page 2, its nice to see live music, i miss it a little bit. Plenty of time for that though. Wonder what Tommy would have thought of him...

the vision is JESUS

"When God wants to initate a new movement in history,he does not intervene directly,but sends us dreams and vision that can,if attended to,initate the process"-Walter Wink

I found this quote on my friend Lile from Macedonia's blog (see people list).I i dont know who Walter Wink is but this quote touched my heart in a big way. God is giving me alot of dreams and visions at the moment which is pretty amazing. They are only forming and taking shape presently. they are dreams for my life personally, dreams for the church and dreams for the world. He is waking me in the night desperately trying to break my heart for the lost and i am being so stubborn, aware that it will change my life beyond recognition. He wakes me and tells me to be expectant, for what i dont know. it excites the very core of my being and engages with my soul in the most comfortable and yet uncomfortable of ways.

I want more of God more than anything else in the wolrd, in the universe but at the same time so much holds me back from everything that He is offering me. Do i really want everything the creator of the universe has to offer? that is entirely beyond comprehension, Habakkuk 3:6 says

"He stood and shook the earth;he looked and made the nations tremble. the ancient mountains crumbled and the age old hills collapsed. His ways are eternal"

God is massive and powerful and majestic and beautiful and so much more than i could ever possibley ever hope to imagine. Embracing him in the way i long to will turn my life upside down and make the wolrd's view of me change even more. It would make christians views of me change even more. I would become that weird chrsitian who is utterly sold out on the kingdom of heaven no matter what. I'm desperate to get to that place but at the moment i have alot of things that matter that are getting in the way.

All i can do for now is to continue to seek Him and pray He will continue to reveal his dreams and visions to me so that eventually i will come to that place of utter submission before Him as i see more and more of his beautiful plans and how i can play a part in His story.

pray

m x x x

Picking up speed...

Time seems to be speeding past so quickly here, nearly a month in. Feels like a year and a day all at once.
The past couple of weeks have been a haze of frantic business, trying to sort out exactly what i should be doing, praying and pestering people from work and my housemates so i can get to know them better - its realy quite exhausting but also alot of fun.

Freshers fayres have gone pretty well so far God has been faithful and we've been spreading the All Saints vibe around Southbank uni and London College of Communication. I have consumed a ridiculous number of sweets in the past few days and my spit has turned to syrup!

Things are happening and i'm getting excited.