Enough?

God's been speaking to me quite a bit the past few days about whether i think He is enough for me or not.

I feel like there is a hole inside me, a never ending God-shaped void. I try and fill it with other things which just end up covering it on a completely surface level. I look for fufillment in all sorts of different friendships and relationships and then fall back on God when they dont quite cut it. They go nowhere near to filling it.

Everytime i look to these things rather than God its as if i'm saying to him that he is not enough for me. How can the creator of the universe, my saviour, the great deep not be enough for me? Of course He is more than enough, He is everything i could ever want or need, i just dont believe it in my heart, i look to other things instead.

As Rachel pointed out to me the other day how can a hole that can only be filled by an eternal being be filled by anything else? And yet i desperately try to.

I look to Jesus as my default posistion - bare with me. When everything else falls down around me i think 'oh well at least i still have Christ'

It's like that Snow Patrol song

"I see now that You are all that i have"

That is how i view God - i want to move from viewing Him as all i have to everything that i could possibley ever need and everything that i could possibiley ever want, God is not a consolation prize and yet everyday i behave in a way that suggests that that is exactly how i view Him.

I'm also realising that there is so much more of God to be explored. Have you had enough of me? there is so much more. More than i could possibley ever imagine.

Isaiah 40 says

" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom."

I want so much more of God, i realise that He is calling me to go deeper and i am determined to live that out rather than simply reflect on it.

Is God enough fo you?

Moving to about life

check out www.aboutlife.com/meg for more meg blogging activity,

there may be the odd post on here but the majourity of blogging will be at about life and less pink. x x x

Dinner...

If you could invite three people dead or alive around for dinner who would it be?

you must also think about the dynamics of the dinner party.

Mine would be

Stuart from Belle and Sebastian
Smith Wigglesworth
Simon Pegg

City Life

This saturday a group of us got out of Peckham and went for a walk in the beautiful Kent countryside. I entered into the whole out in the countryside thing and decided to have a pint of Ale while frequenting the local pub.

It was really good to get out of London. Most people since i have been living here have said how important it is to get out of the city every once in the while and i can see what they mean. you know what though? i love London and Peckham especially. i really wasn't sure that i would though.

I grew up in a tiny village in Oxfordshire and then moved to hull which isn't exactly vast. When i knew God was calling me to London i would often break out into minor panics becasue London was so big and it terrified me. It's so much faster than anything i have ever been used to before. i could easily get so lost here, and i often do! But it's brilliant its the centre of so many amazing things, there is so much going on and so much to get involved with it is what i have always been longing for - to be in the centre of somewhere that is truely buzzing.

Being surrounded by God's creation is beautiful and restoring but what i find even more restoring is being surrounded by God's best creation - people and living inPeckham i definately am.

Christmas is coming

Today i'm thinking about Christmas, i know i shouldn't because it's only the 1st November but i am and i love it. I think it has something to do with the fact i am wearing one of my winter cardigans today. Me and Bill have been singing caroles in the office, working for the church is great becuase i can well and truely get caught up in the build up to christmas, got to be careful not to over do it though.

i will miss christmas in bransholme though - the tack there was unbelievable!