Enough?

God's been speaking to me quite a bit the past few days about whether i think He is enough for me or not.

I feel like there is a hole inside me, a never ending God-shaped void. I try and fill it with other things which just end up covering it on a completely surface level. I look for fufillment in all sorts of different friendships and relationships and then fall back on God when they dont quite cut it. They go nowhere near to filling it.

Everytime i look to these things rather than God its as if i'm saying to him that he is not enough for me. How can the creator of the universe, my saviour, the great deep not be enough for me? Of course He is more than enough, He is everything i could ever want or need, i just dont believe it in my heart, i look to other things instead.

As Rachel pointed out to me the other day how can a hole that can only be filled by an eternal being be filled by anything else? And yet i desperately try to.

I look to Jesus as my default posistion - bare with me. When everything else falls down around me i think 'oh well at least i still have Christ'

It's like that Snow Patrol song

"I see now that You are all that i have"

That is how i view God - i want to move from viewing Him as all i have to everything that i could possibley ever need and everything that i could possibiley ever want, God is not a consolation prize and yet everyday i behave in a way that suggests that that is exactly how i view Him.

I'm also realising that there is so much more of God to be explored. Have you had enough of me? there is so much more. More than i could possibley ever imagine.

Isaiah 40 says

" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom."

I want so much more of God, i realise that He is calling me to go deeper and i am determined to live that out rather than simply reflect on it.

Is God enough fo you?