yearning for wales, teenagers, fancy dress and Jesus...

This is the first new year in 9 years that i have not speant in Monmouth at The crusaders in wales new years houseparty. It's basically 5 days speant with 100ish young people aged 14-18 and a bunch of slightly unhinged leaders, playing, praying and hearing from God.

The last new year i wasn't there was 97/98 when i was 14 - i went to a party in my friends harriet bingley's village hall.

The houseparty is awsome because it is time to put aside and spend going deeper with God. To give proper time to reflect on the last year and to give time to praying in the new one.

I dont think i can quite put into words how much i love the houseparty. I have made some absolutely vital friendships there over the years. Some people who i may only see once a year but who have now known me for a long time, some who have since become an important part of my everyday life, some i'm realted to and some i have fancied.

Ed Dix who used to be the student worker before me at All Saints i first met at the houseparty when i was 15, its through the houseparty i first heard about and fell in love with Peckham and All Saints! Mental! Nick and Sally from our youth team have taken some of our youth this year.

I decided foolishly that this year was time for a year off. That perhaps i have let the houseparty have too much of a significance in my life. Yesterday my brother Squiff packed up the car (3 guitars, cello, amp, small bag!) and drove off. Two hours later i get a phone call "Meg Meg guess who's my dorm leader...it's Nick". I worry, i work with Nick and he is learning how to wind me up very well and now he is sharing a room with my 18 yr old brother for 5 days, i'm hoping not to many stories will be swapped or techniques for annoying meg will be shared! oh well.

I miss it i wish i was there. Instead i have a theology essay to write. Going up to Hull for new years eve so that will be fun. i wont be dressed as a pirate though, oh well least there's always next year...

malibu?

On wednesday 13 of us went to France for the day for nick's birthday. It was very fun. However it was also a very long day - starting at 6am and finishing at 1.30am, and i ate ALOT of sweets. Sugar and sleep deprivation is not a good combination.

Good things about the day;
sweets
dressing up as a french person
the beachNick's face
buying bangers
setting off said bangers
the police coming to investigate noise caused by said bangers
Nick's face
new people
the shop selling guns and swords
speaking in Irish
Nick's face
Laughing so hard my eyes nearly popped out
Sally eating custard eventhough it makes her hyper
not gettinbg sea sick
the surname Silley
Nick's face

Bad things
getting sunburn
the only cheap alcohol i returned with was a bottle of Pinapple Malibu - WHAT WAS I THINKING? I dont even like Malibu very much, why didn't i get something i liked? like wine or beer or even whiskey. Sleep and sweets had addled my brain to the extent of thinking the only thing worth while getting was Malibu. i am so ashamed.

Pieces of the puzzle

Mike Lloyd quoted bits of a poem by Lawrence Kushner at Monday Theology last week which really got me pondering.

"Each lifetime is te pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle...
...But know this.
No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
...Everyone carries within them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they dont.
And when you present your piece...
...To another, whether you know it or not,
Whether they know it or not,
You are a messenger from the Most High"

Kushner has remarked on the poem " It's rarely the author or featured speaker who has your puzzle pieces. It's usually someone who has a bit part inyour life whose name is not recorded in the programme."

Who has the pieces of the puzzle of my life?

God gave me a picture this morning during staff worship of a puzzle. He speaks to the whole church individually, giving us all very different pieces of His puzzle. It is only when we put them all together that we have the complete picture. Although someone else's piece may be totally different to mine it does not mean that they wont eventually fit together to make a bigger more beautiful picture.

Mike Lloyd quoted bits of a poem by Lawrence Kushner at Monday Theology last week which really got me pondering.

"Each lifetime is te pieces of a jigsaw puzzel.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle...
...But know this.
No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle....
Everyone carries within them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they dont.
And when you present your piece...
...To another, whether you know it or not,Whether they know it or not,You are a messenger from the Most High"Kushner has remarked on the poem " It's rarely the author or featured speaker who has your puzzle pieces. It's usually someone who has a bit part inyour life whose name is not recorded in the programme."Who has the pieces of the puzzle of my life?God gave me a picture this morning during staff worship of a puzzle. He speaks to the whole church individually, giving us all very different pieces of His puzzle. It is only when we put them all together that we have the complete picture. Although someone else's piece may be totally different to mine it does not mean that they wont eventually fit together to make a bigger more beautiful picture.

feeling 14

ever had a teenage week? that's how i'm feeling this week. i'm so tired that all of my emotions have been over exagerated to the extent of feeling forteen again, man it was hard work and its hard work for all those having to come into contact wit me. My mouth feels old, i'm not entirely sure what an old mouth is but this week i definately have one, and my eyes almost sting from the weight of having to hold them open.

Things that usually wouldn't bother me have been bringing me close to tears. I know that things had got to a really bad place when i found myself crying while watching that ridiculous wedding scene in love actually. I shouldn't have been watching love actually in the first place. I hate that film, it's manipulative, over sentimental rubbish, but there i was on wednesday nighty sniffleling at the wedding scene. I would like to point out that my sniffleling was becuase i thought it was really beautiful not because i was feeling sorry for myself. It was definately time for bed at that point.

I will get my rest, it is greatly needed and i'm looking forward to it. I got some yesteday afternoon watching adam and joe and then falling asleep on the sofa with sarah and sal, under sarah's duvet, it was nice.

Incidentally the first serise of Adam and Joe has really dated. Amazing 90s hair cuts and checked shirts - which didn't really help in the whole not trying to feel forteen again thing. Also for much of this week i have been wearing my christmas jumper which is a snowflake jumper i bought from gap when i was in year eight. It's 10 years old - brilliant.

sorry dont really know where this post is going,its just some sleepy ramblings from inside my head that i thought i would bless the internet with, you lucky lucky people. sorry.

stop.