less than 2 weeks left

I go back to England in less than three weeks, time out here really has gone so quickly. I have alot of decisions to make when i get back, not good for a girl who is getting increasingly indecisive in her old age. Please can you pray for me that I will hear God in it all and wont get too caught up with my own head and thoughts. His ways are so much greater than mine but sometimes, well alot of the time, i get tricked in to thinking that actually i know alot better.

I'm learning to reclaim my dreams of old at the moment but its actually quite hard as i have become used to living a mediocre life. One in which I have settled into a certain way of living, a certain way of doing things and for settling for so much less than Gods best for my life. So I'm re- thinking and re-shuffleling and trying to work out what it may look like back home. Oyt here life is SO great and in perspective but i realise its only temporary. Literally my whole life has been thrown up in to the air and i dont know if i have to wait to see where it will land or whether i need to direct it. I only hope that if I direct it God will help it end up where its supposed to be. I just dont know what to do at the moment. I always knew this point would come though.

So in the near future the guardian job site and the UCAS website beckon, more than that I dont know at the moment but these decisions could change it all. I wanna be faithful and not run away just becuase i'm scared things may hurt. I know that God is so much bigger than that. Sorry if this all a bit rambly and cryptic but its not sorted in my head yet. Maybe when it is i can be more eloquent. Please pray for me.

Where the rainforest meets the reef

So I've just got back from an amazing week in Cairns in Queensland. the weather was beautiful if not slightly sweaty and i saw some of the most awesome natural beauty I have ever seen in my life. Left me standing and thinking with my mouth open most of the time. I still cant quite believe that I had the privilege of being in the oldest rainforest in the world, some of the species of plants there are the oldest in the whole world - how crazy is that?

I'm now in the final stretch of my time in Australia, less than a month to go, home seems not very far away now and I really don't know quite how I feel about that yet.

All things fun and important

This weekend I got a new tattoo. God has been reminding me of a lot of stuff since I have been here in Oz . A few weeks ago at Encounterfest we were encouraged to make this season of our life the one that changes everything else. To experience Jesus in such a powerful way that the rest of our life is totally wrecked and all we can do is share His goodness with everyone we meet. Carl Lentz (who was preaching and reminded me alot of John Clarke) is an amazing evangelist and like all evangelists does it in the most natural and normal of ways - i think he just has alot of friends.

I was totally inspired, I was like 'Yes! this is it, I want this to be the season in my life, a season that changes everything else. I want to live eat and breathe Jesus, to be consumed by his dreams to constantly have conversations about the kingdom, about end times, about the battles we face every day and about Revival. I want to be totally consumed and in love with church. I want to give my life to the cause, not just a bit but every single inch of me, totally intoxicating in love with Jesus to the extent that it infects every one around me. I want to share me devotion, excitement and passion for Jesus with everyone I meet. I want to go out of my way for the hurting, the broken and the dying. I want to bring light in to our very dark and yet beautiful world.

Then it hit me, I have already had that encounter with Jesus. 2003 - 2005 I was living a totally radical and spirit filled life where all of the things above were my everyday reality. Somehow in the past three years it has become duller and my life has become more everyday rather than radical and world changing. I think i have done what i always feared I would - settled. This isn't the end though because the best is yet to come, I am now back to where I was before and believe me the only way is up. No time for excuses anymore, I am so sick and tired of them. It's time for change and to carry one believing that God is going to use me to change the world, my world. time is so short.

So I have got a tattoo in a mark of recognition for all that, as a reminder that the gospel is not to be kept to myself but that it contains the most astounding freedom and grace which the world is aching to hear and a love they are crying out for. Not more telling stories from 5 years ago. I am SO ready for new ones.

"How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!"

Isaiah 52:7

Well i want me feet to be beautiful so I have the good news written on them as a reminder to take it where ever I go. it may be cheesy but do you know what? I really don't care.