less than 2 weeks left

I go back to England in less than three weeks, time out here really has gone so quickly. I have alot of decisions to make when i get back, not good for a girl who is getting increasingly indecisive in her old age. Please can you pray for me that I will hear God in it all and wont get too caught up with my own head and thoughts. His ways are so much greater than mine but sometimes, well alot of the time, i get tricked in to thinking that actually i know alot better.

I'm learning to reclaim my dreams of old at the moment but its actually quite hard as i have become used to living a mediocre life. One in which I have settled into a certain way of living, a certain way of doing things and for settling for so much less than Gods best for my life. So I'm re- thinking and re-shuffleling and trying to work out what it may look like back home. Oyt here life is SO great and in perspective but i realise its only temporary. Literally my whole life has been thrown up in to the air and i dont know if i have to wait to see where it will land or whether i need to direct it. I only hope that if I direct it God will help it end up where its supposed to be. I just dont know what to do at the moment. I always knew this point would come though.

So in the near future the guardian job site and the UCAS website beckon, more than that I dont know at the moment but these decisions could change it all. I wanna be faithful and not run away just becuase i'm scared things may hurt. I know that God is so much bigger than that. Sorry if this all a bit rambly and cryptic but its not sorted in my head yet. Maybe when it is i can be more eloquent. Please pray for me.

All things fun and important

This weekend I got a new tattoo. God has been reminding me of a lot of stuff since I have been here in Oz . A few weeks ago at Encounterfest we were encouraged to make this season of our life the one that changes everything else. To experience Jesus in such a powerful way that the rest of our life is totally wrecked and all we can do is share His goodness with everyone we meet. Carl Lentz (who was preaching and reminded me alot of John Clarke) is an amazing evangelist and like all evangelists does it in the most natural and normal of ways - i think he just has alot of friends.

I was totally inspired, I was like 'Yes! this is it, I want this to be the season in my life, a season that changes everything else. I want to live eat and breathe Jesus, to be consumed by his dreams to constantly have conversations about the kingdom, about end times, about the battles we face every day and about Revival. I want to be totally consumed and in love with church. I want to give my life to the cause, not just a bit but every single inch of me, totally intoxicating in love with Jesus to the extent that it infects every one around me. I want to share me devotion, excitement and passion for Jesus with everyone I meet. I want to go out of my way for the hurting, the broken and the dying. I want to bring light in to our very dark and yet beautiful world.

Then it hit me, I have already had that encounter with Jesus. 2003 - 2005 I was living a totally radical and spirit filled life where all of the things above were my everyday reality. Somehow in the past three years it has become duller and my life has become more everyday rather than radical and world changing. I think i have done what i always feared I would - settled. This isn't the end though because the best is yet to come, I am now back to where I was before and believe me the only way is up. No time for excuses anymore, I am so sick and tired of them. It's time for change and to carry one believing that God is going to use me to change the world, my world. time is so short.

So I have got a tattoo in a mark of recognition for all that, as a reminder that the gospel is not to be kept to myself but that it contains the most astounding freedom and grace which the world is aching to hear and a love they are crying out for. Not more telling stories from 5 years ago. I am SO ready for new ones.

"How beautiful on the mountains
are the feet of those who bring good news,
who proclaim peace,
who bring good tidings,
who proclaim salvation,
who say to Zion,
"Your God reigns!"

Isaiah 52:7

Well i want me feet to be beautiful so I have the good news written on them as a reminder to take it where ever I go. it may be cheesy but do you know what? I really don't care.

Passion in Sydney

Tuesday night I went to the Sydney stop of the Passion World tour. It was the last of 17 countries that Loius Gigilio, Chris Tomlin, David Crowder Band, and team were visiting.

On the 5th June I attended the London stop. The London stop had been a pretty significant time for me as god was really beginning to wake me up about a lot of stuff again. I was planning and thinking about the next 6 months and where I would be and what I would be doing. At that point i had no idea that I would be in Sydney for the last stop of the tour.

I love university aged people, it is such an unbelievably exciting stage of life where you can dream huge and the world is your oyster so the Passion gatherings have been fantastic. Sydeny was no exception to this, to see Sydeny exhibition Centre filled with 8000 people desperate to see their city and their universities change was awsome.

but you know what? Sydney isn't home. it was great to pray for the city and being part of something so exciting but the same fire didn't rise in my heart like it did/ does when i'm praying for London. London has well and truly got a hold of my heart. So for all of you wondering whether I'll come back, don't worry I will be. I LOVE it here in Sydney but God has by no way finished with me and London yet.

Also I stayed for the whole David Crowder band set and I have to say I may have finally found a christian band that i'm not ashamed to admit liking!