Friday, August 22, 2008

Thinking about leadership

To be honest my head is pretty clouded by the recent news about Michael Guglielmucci the author of the worship song 'healer' who admitted yesterday that he has been faking cancer for the past two years.
(www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/
0,25197,24216087-5006787,00.html)

Last week it was announced that Todd Bentley who has been leading the Florida outpouring has separated from his wife due to him forming an inappropriate emotional connection with another woman (http://www.freshfire.ca/). Both Mike and Todd have stepped down from ministry.

It's a big deal and my head is swimming by all sorts of feelings and emotions. Mainly it has made me realise that I really have made the right choice in stepping down from full time church work for the time being. Not that I have any massive secrets that need to be dealt with but that I can see the danger in it. If i did mess up i dont know how well i would deal with it. This year I saw how easy it would be to leave things unsaid and in secret and in turn how damaging that would be. For example if i were to have a one night stand while in leadership in the church I would lose not only my position of leadership but my job and my home as well. That is a scary thing. Not that i was ever tempted to have a one night stand! All I am saying is that if it were to happen i know i would be tempted not to say anything and let it build up and build up for the sake of not losing everything. My pride is huge.

I dont ever want to be that person and being in full time leadership is a massive responsibilty that i dont know that I am ready for or even will ever be ready for.

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