yearning for wales, teenagers, fancy dress and Jesus...

This is the first new year in 9 years that i have not speant in Monmouth at The crusaders in wales new years houseparty. It's basically 5 days speant with 100ish young people aged 14-18 and a bunch of slightly unhinged leaders, playing, praying and hearing from God.

The last new year i wasn't there was 97/98 when i was 14 - i went to a party in my friends harriet bingley's village hall.

The houseparty is awsome because it is time to put aside and spend going deeper with God. To give proper time to reflect on the last year and to give time to praying in the new one.

I dont think i can quite put into words how much i love the houseparty. I have made some absolutely vital friendships there over the years. Some people who i may only see once a year but who have now known me for a long time, some who have since become an important part of my everyday life, some i'm realted to and some i have fancied.

Ed Dix who used to be the student worker before me at All Saints i first met at the houseparty when i was 15, its through the houseparty i first heard about and fell in love with Peckham and All Saints! Mental! Nick and Sally from our youth team have taken some of our youth this year.

I decided foolishly that this year was time for a year off. That perhaps i have let the houseparty have too much of a significance in my life. Yesterday my brother Squiff packed up the car (3 guitars, cello, amp, small bag!) and drove off. Two hours later i get a phone call "Meg Meg guess who's my dorm leader...it's Nick". I worry, i work with Nick and he is learning how to wind me up very well and now he is sharing a room with my 18 yr old brother for 5 days, i'm hoping not to many stories will be swapped or techniques for annoying meg will be shared! oh well.

I miss it i wish i was there. Instead i have a theology essay to write. Going up to Hull for new years eve so that will be fun. i wont be dressed as a pirate though, oh well least there's always next year...

malibu?

On wednesday 13 of us went to France for the day for nick's birthday. It was very fun. However it was also a very long day - starting at 6am and finishing at 1.30am, and i ate ALOT of sweets. Sugar and sleep deprivation is not a good combination.

Good things about the day;
sweets
dressing up as a french person
the beachNick's face
buying bangers
setting off said bangers
the police coming to investigate noise caused by said bangers
Nick's face
new people
the shop selling guns and swords
speaking in Irish
Nick's face
Laughing so hard my eyes nearly popped out
Sally eating custard eventhough it makes her hyper
not gettinbg sea sick
the surname Silley
Nick's face

Bad things
getting sunburn
the only cheap alcohol i returned with was a bottle of Pinapple Malibu - WHAT WAS I THINKING? I dont even like Malibu very much, why didn't i get something i liked? like wine or beer or even whiskey. Sleep and sweets had addled my brain to the extent of thinking the only thing worth while getting was Malibu. i am so ashamed.

Pieces of the puzzle

Mike Lloyd quoted bits of a poem by Lawrence Kushner at Monday Theology last week which really got me pondering.

"Each lifetime is te pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle...
...But know this.
No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle.
...Everyone carries within them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they dont.
And when you present your piece...
...To another, whether you know it or not,
Whether they know it or not,
You are a messenger from the Most High"

Kushner has remarked on the poem " It's rarely the author or featured speaker who has your puzzle pieces. It's usually someone who has a bit part inyour life whose name is not recorded in the programme."

Who has the pieces of the puzzle of my life?

God gave me a picture this morning during staff worship of a puzzle. He speaks to the whole church individually, giving us all very different pieces of His puzzle. It is only when we put them all together that we have the complete picture. Although someone else's piece may be totally different to mine it does not mean that they wont eventually fit together to make a bigger more beautiful picture.

Mike Lloyd quoted bits of a poem by Lawrence Kushner at Monday Theology last week which really got me pondering.

"Each lifetime is te pieces of a jigsaw puzzel.
For some there are more pieces.
For others the puzzle is more difficult to assemble.
Some seem to be born with a nearly completed puzzle...
...But know this.
No one has within themselves
All the pieces to their puzzle....
Everyone carries within them at least one and probably
Many pieces to someone else's puzzle.
Sometimes they know it.
Sometimes they dont.
And when you present your piece...
...To another, whether you know it or not,Whether they know it or not,You are a messenger from the Most High"Kushner has remarked on the poem " It's rarely the author or featured speaker who has your puzzle pieces. It's usually someone who has a bit part inyour life whose name is not recorded in the programme."Who has the pieces of the puzzle of my life?God gave me a picture this morning during staff worship of a puzzle. He speaks to the whole church individually, giving us all very different pieces of His puzzle. It is only when we put them all together that we have the complete picture. Although someone else's piece may be totally different to mine it does not mean that they wont eventually fit together to make a bigger more beautiful picture.

feeling 14

ever had a teenage week? that's how i'm feeling this week. i'm so tired that all of my emotions have been over exagerated to the extent of feeling forteen again, man it was hard work and its hard work for all those having to come into contact wit me. My mouth feels old, i'm not entirely sure what an old mouth is but this week i definately have one, and my eyes almost sting from the weight of having to hold them open.

Things that usually wouldn't bother me have been bringing me close to tears. I know that things had got to a really bad place when i found myself crying while watching that ridiculous wedding scene in love actually. I shouldn't have been watching love actually in the first place. I hate that film, it's manipulative, over sentimental rubbish, but there i was on wednesday nighty sniffleling at the wedding scene. I would like to point out that my sniffleling was becuase i thought it was really beautiful not because i was feeling sorry for myself. It was definately time for bed at that point.

I will get my rest, it is greatly needed and i'm looking forward to it. I got some yesteday afternoon watching adam and joe and then falling asleep on the sofa with sarah and sal, under sarah's duvet, it was nice.

Incidentally the first serise of Adam and Joe has really dated. Amazing 90s hair cuts and checked shirts - which didn't really help in the whole not trying to feel forteen again thing. Also for much of this week i have been wearing my christmas jumper which is a snowflake jumper i bought from gap when i was in year eight. It's 10 years old - brilliant.

sorry dont really know where this post is going,its just some sleepy ramblings from inside my head that i thought i would bless the internet with, you lucky lucky people. sorry.

stop.

Enough?

God's been speaking to me quite a bit the past few days about whether i think He is enough for me or not.

I feel like there is a hole inside me, a never ending God-shaped void. I try and fill it with other things which just end up covering it on a completely surface level. I look for fufillment in all sorts of different friendships and relationships and then fall back on God when they dont quite cut it. They go nowhere near to filling it.

Everytime i look to these things rather than God its as if i'm saying to him that he is not enough for me. How can the creator of the universe, my saviour, the great deep not be enough for me? Of course He is more than enough, He is everything i could ever want or need, i just dont believe it in my heart, i look to other things instead.

As Rachel pointed out to me the other day how can a hole that can only be filled by an eternal being be filled by anything else? And yet i desperately try to.

I look to Jesus as my default posistion - bare with me. When everything else falls down around me i think 'oh well at least i still have Christ'

It's like that Snow Patrol song

"I see now that You are all that i have"

That is how i view God - i want to move from viewing Him as all i have to everything that i could possibley ever need and everything that i could possibiley ever want, God is not a consolation prize and yet everyday i behave in a way that suggests that that is exactly how i view Him.

I'm also realising that there is so much more of God to be explored. Have you had enough of me? there is so much more. More than i could possibley ever imagine.

Isaiah 40 says

" Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and His understanding no one can fathom."

I want so much more of God, i realise that He is calling me to go deeper and i am determined to live that out rather than simply reflect on it.

Is God enough fo you?

Moving to about life

check out www.aboutlife.com/meg for more meg blogging activity,

there may be the odd post on here but the majourity of blogging will be at about life and less pink. x x x

Dinner...

If you could invite three people dead or alive around for dinner who would it be?

you must also think about the dynamics of the dinner party.

Mine would be

Stuart from Belle and Sebastian
Smith Wigglesworth
Simon Pegg

City Life

This saturday a group of us got out of Peckham and went for a walk in the beautiful Kent countryside. I entered into the whole out in the countryside thing and decided to have a pint of Ale while frequenting the local pub.

It was really good to get out of London. Most people since i have been living here have said how important it is to get out of the city every once in the while and i can see what they mean. you know what though? i love London and Peckham especially. i really wasn't sure that i would though.

I grew up in a tiny village in Oxfordshire and then moved to hull which isn't exactly vast. When i knew God was calling me to London i would often break out into minor panics becasue London was so big and it terrified me. It's so much faster than anything i have ever been used to before. i could easily get so lost here, and i often do! But it's brilliant its the centre of so many amazing things, there is so much going on and so much to get involved with it is what i have always been longing for - to be in the centre of somewhere that is truely buzzing.

Being surrounded by God's creation is beautiful and restoring but what i find even more restoring is being surrounded by God's best creation - people and living inPeckham i definately am.

Christmas is coming

Today i'm thinking about Christmas, i know i shouldn't because it's only the 1st November but i am and i love it. I think it has something to do with the fact i am wearing one of my winter cardigans today. Me and Bill have been singing caroles in the office, working for the church is great becuase i can well and truely get caught up in the build up to christmas, got to be careful not to over do it though.

i will miss christmas in bransholme though - the tack there was unbelievable!

A little sleepy

Today i'm tired, my body is exhausted and i have bags under my eyes the size of suitcases, its either bags or smudged make-up.

I guess this is the price you pay when you're fighting on the front line and when you put everything you are into everything you do.

I'm taking time out and i'm grabbing my rest because the fight is unrelenting and there is much to be done.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and i will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for i am gentle and humble in heart, and you will rest rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30

God is holding on to me so tightly, guiding me, loving me, restoring me, challenging me, breaking me, singing over me. Although i'm shattered my soul is so rested and i'm still so excited to be used by Him.

A little true story to entertain

This beautiful young man shares an office with me and has done for the past 6 weeks. His name is Eddie. On Friday night i had a party at my house, my kitchen was mostly full of my housemates friends who i didn't know.

I was in a slightly naughty mood so was easily persuaded to change my outfit completely and re-introduce myself to the party as my indentical twin sister Gem (Meg backwards). I left the house rang the door bell and started the confusion.

Gem has just graduated in business and ecconomics and is looking for a job in journalism, hopefully with the financial times. I/she was chatting to a couple of people i had just met who had no reason to doubt me, it was quite fun lying to their face but i felt quite deceptive so went off to introduce Gem to my mates from work. Eddie was my first target, he was a little sceptical to begin with but pretty soon he took the bait hook line and sinker.

I then went out and changed back into Meg. When i re-entered the room eddie's face was a picture, utterly convinced at this point that he had just been chatting to my twin sister and that he had really offended her by not believing she wasn't me. I pointed out that it happens alot because we have the same face! Ha ha.

I have been sitting next to eddie at work for the past 6 weeks - surely in that time i would have mentioned my twin?

Brilliant.

x x x

Mmm

Sunday night saw Jason McNiff (www.myspace.com/jasonmcniff) play at a pub in Nunhead called Page 2, its nice to see live music, i miss it a little bit. Plenty of time for that though. Wonder what Tommy would have thought of him...

the vision is JESUS

"When God wants to initate a new movement in history,he does not intervene directly,but sends us dreams and vision that can,if attended to,initate the process"-Walter Wink

I found this quote on my friend Lile from Macedonia's blog (see people list).I i dont know who Walter Wink is but this quote touched my heart in a big way. God is giving me alot of dreams and visions at the moment which is pretty amazing. They are only forming and taking shape presently. they are dreams for my life personally, dreams for the church and dreams for the world. He is waking me in the night desperately trying to break my heart for the lost and i am being so stubborn, aware that it will change my life beyond recognition. He wakes me and tells me to be expectant, for what i dont know. it excites the very core of my being and engages with my soul in the most comfortable and yet uncomfortable of ways.

I want more of God more than anything else in the wolrd, in the universe but at the same time so much holds me back from everything that He is offering me. Do i really want everything the creator of the universe has to offer? that is entirely beyond comprehension, Habakkuk 3:6 says

"He stood and shook the earth;he looked and made the nations tremble. the ancient mountains crumbled and the age old hills collapsed. His ways are eternal"

God is massive and powerful and majestic and beautiful and so much more than i could ever possibley ever hope to imagine. Embracing him in the way i long to will turn my life upside down and make the wolrd's view of me change even more. It would make christians views of me change even more. I would become that weird chrsitian who is utterly sold out on the kingdom of heaven no matter what. I'm desperate to get to that place but at the moment i have alot of things that matter that are getting in the way.

All i can do for now is to continue to seek Him and pray He will continue to reveal his dreams and visions to me so that eventually i will come to that place of utter submission before Him as i see more and more of his beautiful plans and how i can play a part in His story.

pray

m x x x

Picking up speed...

Time seems to be speeding past so quickly here, nearly a month in. Feels like a year and a day all at once.
The past couple of weeks have been a haze of frantic business, trying to sort out exactly what i should be doing, praying and pestering people from work and my housemates so i can get to know them better - its realy quite exhausting but also alot of fun.

Freshers fayres have gone pretty well so far God has been faithful and we've been spreading the All Saints vibe around Southbank uni and London College of Communication. I have consumed a ridiculous number of sweets in the past few days and my spit has turned to syrup!

Things are happening and i'm getting excited.

In the middle of the night...

Currently we're running 24 hours of prayer at church primarily for the student ministry.

I really didn't think i'd be able to manage the 3.43am wake up call this morning to do the 4-6 shift, especially due to very little sleep as i was slightly on the excited slide and am battleling a cold.

Walking to church was really strange, the streets were completl empty apart from the odd postman. I felt like i had been sent out on a secret mission, there is something pretty special about the middle of the night and Jesus. it's like a top secret stratergy meeting or something -maybe i get a bit carried away!

Two hours sped past in the prayer room - God was taking me through 2 Timothy which is always fun.

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-control" 2Timothy 1:7

Southbank freshers fayre on friday...

x x x

a few thoughts

Blogging has been slightly slow of late due to to massive upheaval of moving to Peckam and All Saints, sorry about that.

I love it here, i really really love it Peckham and London are fantastic and God is so so good. I've just finished two weeks staff training which has been brilliant and so useful in so many ways.The staff team are all lovely and a little bit nuts which i really love as i feel i dont have to pretend to be cool or grown up or anything like that. God has brought us all here because of who we are and the unique and beautiful giftings he has given us all. Did i mention i love jesus quite alot?! It's differcult to convey it all in a post and me and writing have never been great friends so i hope you can bare with me a bit.

Tomorrow i start the job for real and my emotions fluctuate between absolutely terrified and afraid that i absolutely cant do this to so so excited about God's plans and the things he has started to whisper to me about.

Yesterday i was introduced to portebello (sp?) road and i have to say i have never experienced anything like it and i am very much in love. London quite frankly is brilliant.

Praise Him

and i'm in

I'm here! house is lovely church is awsome God is totally amazing. love it!
Currently doing a couple of weeks of staff training before i'm let loose!
Absolutely shattered what with all the new people, places and things to remember.
Peckham is like another world -it's crazy but really really good and comforting in an odd way because i know it's where i'm meant to be.

x x

Peckham calling...

Oh my gosh folks!

I'm very very excited, one week today (God willing) i move to Peckham. I cant believe how gracious God is He's opened all the doors so that i can go and live and work in Peckham. Wow!

Most of you probably think i'm nuts to be so excited, after all its Peckham. Then again before i was totally in love with Hull so i guess i've got interesting taste!

I actually feel like my heart may burst! God's on the move and i'm gonna be part of it and i cant wait. Hurray.

Momentum was ace, it got me really churned up and ready, ready for what i dont exactly know. Let's just see what happens...

x x x

Momentum

well i'm off to momentum and the weather is looking decidedly rubbish. pantage.

i love camping whatever the weather so it should be pretty good. I love the fact Soul Survivor has put on a festival for students and 20 somethings - means i dont have to pretend to be grown up or something.

Only going with boys though :( so if you are a girl and going please let me know so we can hang out and giggle about boys!

x x x

as promised, more photos are on photobucket
meg

it's all about the hair again

Still in brighton an absolutely loving it!!

Frits has a bunch of really lovely friends who i am beginning to steal! hurray for friend stealing!!
Frit's friend Naomi is also staying with her this week and the three of us have hit it off so well. We're taking some time out praying, speaking into each others lives and dancing like crazy things - brilliant! All three of us are on the cusp of really new and exciting adventures with God and its an absolute pleasure and blessing to be spending this time with them. isn't it amazing that God knows exactly what we need when we need it? I love Him so much :)

Monday night the three of us and Steve went out dancing at The Beach which was a 90's night. The music was pretty hot and i can tell you now we owned that dance floor!

Other news is i have a new hair cut, as do naomi and frits, such girls its mental and a little scary! it's big news becuase i have a fringe at last. YES! i'm aware that i post fairly frequently about my hair but never mind! It's because i'm self obsessed and vain. The new hair cut means i have been spending a very large amount of time in front of the mirror which is always fun.

Photos soon when i can connect my phone hopefully.

here's to going deeper with God

x x

Brighton

hello blog fans, sorry for the lack of posting, not much has been going on at home but now i am in Brighton and there is much to tell.

Am staying with fritha jane and helping her to kind of set up the 24/7 Prayer boiler room.I'm kind of helping but mostly playing, praying and preparing for Peckham.

Yesterday was the brighton gay pride parade which was a whole lot of fun but so much all at once. It was very frustrating becuase there were a bunch of chrsitians there holding placcards about damnation and fun things like that, no love in it what so ever. no wonder the church and the gay community have such a bad relationship. Church should be portraying a 'come as you are' approach to people, not a 'change and then God will love you' one.

We got praying and thinking about how we can let people know at next years parade that God cares and loves every single person there no matter what their sexual preference is. It was emotional and hard work yesterday.

off out for lunch now more later with photos i hope.

x x

Punting

So i'm finally home and making the most of Oxford.I had a really lovely leaving party on friday and hurray hurray i didn't cry which was brilliant!It was hard work not to though! So many very important people left behind.

Amy has been staying the past couple of days to ensure i didn't fall into some kind of ridiculous pining Hull depression!

We've had fun,yesterday we went punting wit my brothers, here are some pics. Pics from the party are on my photobucket site.

Leaving tomorrow

Well this is it folks - my last day in Hull.

For those of you who haven't been here with me i guess it appears like i have been making alot of fuss about leaving a place i have only lived in for four years, was voted the number one crap town and smells of death!

Believe me its beautiful and God is doing amazing things here, and the people are alright too!

I'm having a party tonight to say goodbye and stuff which will be weird and i'm hoping not to cry throughout! That would not be pretty!!

Enough doom and gloom, what i'm moving on to is very exciting and i cant wait. Peckham, All Saints church and Student work awaits, who would have thought?? HURRAY!!!!

it's all about Shane

Celebrity Love Island is a pile of pants, apart from Shane Lynch who used to be in boyzone. He used to be my favourite and love island is proving that i chose wisely. What an awsome man of God.

As steveO put it “Shane fancies the Lord Jesus Christ which is why he’s the ultimate chick magnet.”

I think i love Shane a little bit.

Killing time

It's been another beautiful saturday here in Hull, spent this afternoon sunbathing in the park with fi, very nice.

The countdown really has begun because i leave Hull a week today, a week of bumming about which to be honest i'm finding a little boring at the moment, some day trips and some good books are required me thinks. I'm not even enjoying lie ins!

I have six weeks to fill after i leave Hull and before i start my new job in Peckham. living back with the family for 6 weeks is gonna be real interesting! I need to find something to occupy my time with and a job is out of the question because i go to Momentum slap bang in the middle and to be honest i dont really want another job, then again i guess boredom may drive me to it!

So i guess what i'm saying is anyone got any ideas of what i could get up to? Any one want to come and stay ?- it would be fun!! Or anyone want to invite me anywhere???

Paris - New York - Peckham

Well i finally made it to Peckham yesterday, man its been such a long time coming!
I Love it!! Felt like home already!! Ha ha getting a little carried away with myself.
basically Frog offered me the job as All Saint's student worker yesterday! Hurray. It's not official yet but i'm 99% sure i'm gonna take it. God is so God! Praise Him!!

I always cry at endings

Man goodbyes are so so hard, i'm really not enjoying them at all. Today i had to say good bye to Elaine (my church pastor and mentor for the past four years). As i hugged her i just started welling up, so embarassing! I wasn't expecting that at all. Everything really is becoming so real its beginning to scare me. Elaine said not to let my pride stop me from pulling away from everything if it doesn't work out. that is such a valuable piece of advice. Got me thinking that perhaps everything wont work out, only one ay of finding out though...





I also had to say goodbye to this ^ beautiful girl today. Me and Kate have been so close since first year, she was the first person i met when i moved in and we have been friends ever since. She's seen me at my best and my worst and i'm going to miss her so much. This is so hard.

He is my rock and my fortress.

Arrrrrrrg

Going to see Pirates of the Carribean 2 tonight. Very excited. I wish i knew a real life pirate that would be cool.

x x

Fractious Sky

hi kids,

I'm aware that my blogging has been somewhat appauling of late, i'm sorry guess i just haven't been in the mood.

Today is a frustrating day at work when i have literally nothing to do, i can actually feel my brain shrinking by the second! i wish someone would give me some data entry to do, the internet is stealing my brain!

It's hot and sticky and i can feeling a thunderstorm brewing like a good cup of tea - just in time for my walk home! Actaully i like thunderstorms they are pretty fun, if get wet i can put dry clothes one - hurray. man my brain is all over the place!

Tomorrow is my last day of work here at the business school. Yes!



oooh thunder!!

I'm going to spend the next few weeks being a lady of leisure and packing up my life into boxes, i'm hoping not to be too much of an emotional train wreck but i cant promise anything.Need to spend quality time with important people but i'm not sure how. I'm comitted to being transformed by the renewing of my mind though. onward and upward to bigger and more exciting, i have to keep telling myslef that!!

Oooh lightening

prayers for the 11th please x x

sleepless

A little tired today after a somewhat sleepless night, there is so much going on in my little head at the moment. It's all amazing, freeing God stuff. Have i ever mentioned that i think God is awsome - well i do and He really is.

A phonecall from here has really had my head spinning. i dont know what's round the corner just yet but i'm so excited.

to blog or not to blog

i know i should blog and i'm sorry but i'm feeling quite uninspired at the moment. Anythng i write wouldn't be very interesting today. Not that i'm not interesting but my blogging is, i'll hopefully have some good stories to enthral you all with soon, or at least some musings or photos.

blessings

Revive

Revive in the north is gonna be amazing. Camping with my church and all the other vineyard's in the north. Hurray! Come on God! So excited!

Full report and photos on monday, just have to get through work today...

Owen's out

Owen ruled out for several months
Michael Owen is out of the World Cup and flying back to England after rupturing his anterior cruciate knee ligament against Sweden.

Bugger.

Home is where the heart is?

Been in Oxford this weekend for my mum's 50th birthday. It's been pretty chilled out depite a few scraps with Squiff over who gets to use the car. It is SO terrifying that he is learning to drive.

I've probably mentioned before but i really dont fit here in Oxford at all, within seconds of stepping off the train all my teenage insecurities come flooding back! How sad is that?! The town centre is just so so different from Hull, i feel much more comfortable Humberside. You know what though? As cheesy as it may sound, and i'm told i'm often very cheesy, heaven is my home. It doesn't matter where i live here cos there's a battle to fight everywhere! ha ha London's gonna be fun!

Ps just like to draw attention to Australia's valiant game against Brazil today, they may have lost 2:0 but they played brilliantly. Come on you Socceroos!

Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy Oi Oi Oi

We did a sweepstake in our office for the world cup - I was gutted because I got Australia! However after the 3.1 win against Japan yesterday I’m feeling very optimistic and am getting more addicted to the World Cup. What is happening to me? I’m finding myself watching as many matches as I can! The football bug has well and truly bitten me.

I love the way that it has united the whole country, every shop down Newland Ave has an England flag - it’s brilliant. Maybe one day we will all be as united in Christ, I’ll keep on praying.

Gonna watch Thursday’s match at St. Andrew’s back home. I love it; massive screen, bbq, stacks of people and Christians trying to be on their best behaviour!!

SHEFFIELD!!!!!!!!

Went to stay with Amy and the Walls this weekend in Sheffield. It felt like i was on holiday,who knew sheffeild could be so beautiful? we had an amazing time, one of the best weekends ever it consisted of;

SUNSHINE!!!
England v Paraguay (plus EVERY other world cup game on saturady, thanks Jimmy!)
Minimilks
Sing Star
Buzz
Star Wars Trivial Pursuit
Chicken Dinner
Sweat
Short shorts
Very funny Wall family photos
Alot of talk about boys late into the night
Church
Bare faced bottom burps
Paper rounds
Amy's mum

What a weekend! and those were only the highlights!

Ps HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!

Unfailing Love

Went to the album launch in Nottingham last night. It was in the Hard Rock Cafe which i have to say was a slightly bizare venue for a gig. Then again it wasn't really gig but i'm not entirely sure what it was. I guess the best way to describe it was a show case of new worship songs, i found it weird because in a room of about 350 christians no one was really sure whether to worship or not. i worshipped anyway although got very hot and sweaty so spent most of my time catching up with Ste and Sharon.

I went travelling round the Balkans with Ste and Sharon last summer with 24-7 prayer. It was really lovely to be able to catch up again, always very refreshing and alot of fun. Got chatting with Ste about the Big Conversation in Blgrade and how things are going in Macedonia and Belgrade. I really love those places and i desperately want to go back to Macedonia next summer - fancy coming?

x x x

Another Sunny Day

I guess alot of british blogs at the moment will be about the weather and i intend to make mine no different...
I love walking to work down Newland Avenue, it's so beautiful and Cottingham Road is gorgeous when the sun is shining like it was this morning. Already seen Tommy and Jordan this morning as they were setting up Planet Coffee. At 8am i was already a bit sweaty cos the sun was so hot, i'm excited about summer.

However summer is also exam season. I thought that my days of exams were finally behind me. Because of the AUT strike i had to invigulate a three hour marketing exam yesterday. I thought taking my own exams was bad but watching other people take theirs is far far worse. I had to sit still and in silence for three hours. Oh my goodness i'm so glad the strike finished last night. No more invigilating for me!!

Off to the new Trent Vineyard album launch tonight in Nottingham. I'm excited because 'Unfailing Love' is an excellent album, more on that tomorrow.

The album that changed my world

Today is a very stressful day work - consisting of a lot of mail merges which I have discovered I hate. God’s been throwing spanners in the works for next year again but I’m used to it by now, it’s all His after all. It makes it all so much more exciting!

Been trying to distract myself by thinking of the album which has had the biggest impact on me. I came up with Radiohead’s ‘The Bends’. I’m sure it’s quite an obvious choice but in some ways it totally changed my life. I bought it in the summer of ’96 because the boy I fancied at youth group loved Radiohead. I played it on repeat all summer, well not repeat but I kept turning the cassette over and over! It made me see what real music was and that there was so much more to life than Brit pop and Boyzone. I’ve never looked back and I love them to this day.

So what’s yours?

No work today!

BANK HOLIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! HURRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Glad i got that out of my system!

Time for a little music rant i'm afraid folks....
Why is it that whenever I meet new people who are in to music it takes me forever to convince them that i know what i'm talking about?
I have a suggested answer - because i'm a girl and because i dont play the guitar.
It even took me months to originally get Tommy (my now trusty fellow gig-goer) to take me seriously way back at the beginning of uni.
Granted most gigs i go to the percentage of boys is far far higher than that of girls, in fact there have been few where i have been the only girl but that does not mean we girls dont love music as much.
I do like the novelty though.
Hmmm just got me thinking

James Blunt, what a ....

James Blunt is being played in the office yet again, there is only so much I can cope with!!

musing

What has happened to me? I’m currently sitting in the office singing along to James Blunt. It’s along way off from the dreams I had for this year - but I’ve still got that God feeling. It’s not what I had planned for myself but I keep catching myself grinning because God is so good.



Ps my apologies to all people leaving comments - finally worked out how to use my blog!!

Holy Spirit on the move

Hey

God's doing some pretty exciting stuff at church at the moment, Holy Spirit started moving big time on sunday. I wish i knew more about what He's doing but i don't. I'm just seeking after Him and enjoying it. I cant wait to see what happens...

The odd one out??

Last night i did the obligitory first night out with work, it was really good in alot of ways. It gave me a chance to get to know people a bit better, i was alot more relaxed outside of the office and was able to be myslf more than usual. I haven't been in a group where i am the only new person for a very long time. Straight after work in the pub was good cos loads of people were there and i was able to really chat. However as the group decreased and we moved on i was left feeling very very new.

It was a social situation which i didn't find comfortable at all. I'm not used to being the new girl. Conversations often seemed to stop when people found out i was a christian or the fact i was going to bible college. I think people simply dont know how to react to it, which is fine it just leaves conversation a bit dead. The first seeds are there though.

I hadn't appreciated just how tough london is going to be socially.

Radiohead

Saw Radiohead play at the Civic in Wolverhampton last night. They played a selection of old and new, have to say i'm excited by the new stuff. This was the sixth time i've seen them live and i'm very happy to say they are never a disappointment. Brilliant!

Setlist:
01 National Anthem
02 2+2=5
03 Bangers n Mash
04 Lucky
05 15 Step
06 Sail to the moon
07 House of Cards
08 I Might Be Wrong
09 Bones
10 Nude
11 Arpeggi
12 My Iron Lung
13 Where I End And You Begin
14 Climbing Up The Walls
15 How To Disappear Completely
16 Idioteque
17 There There
Encore 1:
18 Let Down1
9 Karma Police
20 Bodysnatchers
21 Everything In Its Right Place
Encore 2:
22 No Surprises

Absolute carnage

So saturday night was the end of year ball at uni. I went with this rowdy bunch - cant belive it's been nearly 4 years since we were in Nicholson E!!! It was an interesting night with a fair few dramas many of which i'm still trying to process. It is fair to say that alcohol was entirely responsible for wrecking the evening, don't get me wrong it was alot of fun but there were certainly a few traumas throughout the night!
At about 2.30 am when most people were on the way home i surveyed the remains of the union and just started crying (poor pringle had to put up with me). It was such a powerful picture of such emptyness and brokeness of the world we live in. The christians (including myself) let God down big time - it was if we just took a night off. It scared me alot, maybe we're on a bit of a sinking ship, sinking because we are doing absolutely nothing about it. I have the most amazing truth and answer to people's brokenness and yet who did i share it with on saturday?

x x x

Back again

hello blog fans

I have another new job - hurrah! working at the uni, its allpretty fun and i love being back on campus. I got a uni card yesterday and it said STAFF on it - i felt very grown up! simple things!

Feeling very peaceful at the moment, everything is going pretty fine and dandy. God is good amd i'm really enjoying my last few months in Hull without getting too upset and stressed about LOndon.

The long goodbye

steve me and ames are all leaving Hull this summer its so weird and is taking me such a long time to gt my head around. Last night me and the housemates threw steve a surprise leaving party. It was alot of fun an the house wasn't trashed - hurray for christians!! Bit gutted Steve didn't cry though!

Thought i would be more upset than i was - realised it wasn't because i dont love steveo and will miss him alot but because it is the first goodbye of many. It's just gonna get harder and harder - anyway steve will be back i'm sure. Although i wont be...

It's coming back!!!

There are rumours that there is going to be a one hour Spaced special at christmas. HURRAY!!

Work rest and play

The sermon Jeremy preached yesterday has really been on my mind. He was talking about how we have been created to work and that we should work hard and honestly and do it all for the Glory of God. My job quite simply is boring, it doesn't challenge me and i spend alot of the counting down the hours till home, or a tea break, or lunch.

People need their post collecting, breakfast ordering, letters typing so i should just get on and do it to the very best of my ability rather than waiting for my next break or time in the filing cupboard (when i can sing and no one can hear me ha ha!). It's time i started making every single second count for God.

I guess i'm just turning my hand to whatever comes my way - that's the very nature of temp work. Maybe i'll be waiting a long time to see God's promises for my life fufilled so its about time i stopped wasting my now.

xxxx

ps the boys were being annoying in the pub last night they said quiz machines were better than girls cos there was a straight yes or no answer with a quiz machine. i felt the need to blog about it.

mmm

Feeling at the moment like my life has been thrown up in the air and i just have to wait and see where God let's it fall. It's exciting but its also really hard not to try and make it fall where i'd like it to! Knowing a bit of the picture is enough for me at the mo and i have to keep reminding myself i dont need to see it all yet.

cryptic enough?

Feel the fear and do it anyway...

This weekend I'm going Bivvying with the youth group from church. Bivvying is basically me, Tommy, an ex-SAS man and a bunch of 14/15 yr old boys going out on the yorkshire dales and making our own shelters to sleep out in over night. I am so so scared!

It's going to be lots of fun though and i have to keep reminding myself that it will be worth it in the end!!

I've been thinking alot about fear recently - I'm reading a self help type book called 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. Not because i'm particularly fearful person but because i found it in a charity sale for 50p! Alot of it isn't really applicaple to me cos they dont take Jesus into the equation but on the whole its full of pretty sensible advice. Its got me thinking about how the devil uses it as one of his most paralising weapons and yet what is it? Nothing.

Fear's a funny thing it stops me from doing some of the things i want to do most in the world. The biggest thing it stops me from doing is sharing the gospel and i can find no rational explanation for why what so ever. For years i have been trying to pin point exactly what it is that i'm scared of. I cant really find it. Christ has given me a spirit of boldness and not of timidity so i think it's high time that i started to feel the fear and do it anyway! ha ha

xxx

we are family

Being at home again after living away for so long is always interesting and definately not with out its fireworks!! Lots of readjusting needing to be done by most of us. The summer should be fun when i'll be home for longer than a weekend!!

This is a family photo from tenerife - squiff is a comedy genius!!

New Shoes

Bought these little beauies while on holiday. Made my first few days back at work so much better :)

holiday musings

Returned from Tenerife on tuesday night after a very restful family holiday. It seems odd to use the word restful and family in the same sentence, especially my mental family, but that is what is was. Plenty of time to read ('Life after God' - Douglass Coupland, 'Mere Christianity' - C.S Lewis and 'Sense and Sensibilty' - Jane Austen) ), sleep, annoy my brothers and think.

I had a lot of time to think, holidays are good for that. With all the thinking it finally hit me that i am actually going to be leaving Hull in just a matter of months. I simply wont be here any more. To be honest i got a bit mad with God - why does he want everyone else (nearly) to stay here and be part of this crazy thing and not me? Why hasn't He made a place for me here?
I know the answers (some of them) but it didn't stop me having a little moan and feel a bit sorry for myself. I am going to miss this place so much, it's my home and i'll have to be so careful not to leave my heart behind.

For now i'll lean not on my own understanding and trust Him. Trust that he has everything sorted, trust that he has a bigger and better plan for me, trust that the next bit will be the launchpad into the rest of my life with Him. An exciting and scary adventure with God - why would i want anything less?

Ps. Off to see Mogwai tonight, totally forgot about it, forgot about a gig?? things are changing...

Holiday!!

Going to Tenerife next tuesday with the family HURRAY.

Any suggestions for reading material?

leave comments please people...

Radiohead are touring again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Growing up?

Thinking i may be growing up a little bit. Went to a band night on wednesday, 4 bands, lots of noise and lots of indie kids. I went home early because i got bored. I got bored at a gig - WEIRD!!!! Its no longer enough to hold out hope that one of the local bands will prove to be the new Edibles (ie really really goood). It seems these days my bed is more appealing than listening to loud bad music. I'd rather pay a bit more to see a band i actually know and love.

Having said that last night i only ate pudding, two bowls of ice cream, cakes, sweets and lots of E numbers. Left me feeling sick and very hyper. Daniel Howard of course encouraged me all the way!

not a whole lot going on

Noit much to say at the moment. I have a new temp job which proving to be quite fun, at least it is giving me money!! i'm actually enjoying the routine, everyday i feel more like a grown up. God continues to astound and challenge me everyday...

London calling

Spent this weekend in London staying with my mate alex and catching up with other friends. It's been kinda crazy and i've had a lot to take on board. Fantastic weekend though, who knew Canary Wharf could be so beautiful?

For those of you who don't know i'm going to be moving to London this summer. I feel it's where God is calling me for the next bit.

Leaving Hull will be one of the hardest things i have ever had to do but i need to get trained and equipped and mostly i need to follow where God is calling me. Exciting stuff, who knows what could be round the corner...

a couple of photos from the weekend are at http://photobucket.com/albums/e203/twinkle_megstar/Weekend/

hair update

Today was the day of colour, i'm liking it although the curls make me feel slightly like a poodle!

Haircut!!!

Got my haircut today for the first time since september, it was in a bad way, had to take loads off the length cos the split ends were so bad! Felt so ashamed!! So now I have a trendy Toni and Gay hair cut, annoying fringe and all. Brilliant! Get my colour done later this week. It's as if i'm a real girl! And it's all for free cos i got a model cut (trainee). Praise the Lord!
Got a job interview next week to be a receptionist at a hairdressers in town, the question is can i be bothered to look this good every day? It would mean brushing my hair everyday!!!

hmmm

And so it begins again...

Yesterday was my last day at work - it was sad. Looking for a job again now.

Was filling in application form yesterday and one of the questions was "describe your religion..." I didn't really know how to describe mine. Got me thinking... All consuming, freeing, my life, infectious, challenging, life changing, eternity changing, the truth, love, hard at times, joyful, breath taking, empowering, humbling, beautiful or simply an endless journey towards Christ.

In the end i just wrote 'Christianity'. Thinking now i should have made the most of it - the list would have gone on and on, some one may have got saved. It was for a job i probably wont get anyway. bummer.

you gotta have faith

I'm being challenged alot by God at the moment about my lack of faith in Him. My faith seems to fade away when things don't work out the way that i want them to, even though i know that His way is infinately better than my own. I loose it when i dont get a job i think would be perfect for me or when some one i've been praying for for what feels like ever doesn't turn up at Alpha or when the stupid benefit people mess up and i have to pay them money.

What is 'living by faith'? i know it's something that i want to be able to do. Hebrews 11:1 says 'faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see'. I am sure of what i see and i cross my fingers for what i hope for! This is not what i am called to do though. How do i have faith in what i feel i cant be sure of?

I think the key is the word feel. My faith in God should not be based on my own feelings and emotions but on His word and on His promises.
Why do i think God won't fufill His promises to me? It's crazy!! I know Him, i know His character and i know His truths, why would He let me down?

I am simply going to have more faith. I'm going to step out in to it - i'm going to pray for healing for people. God's showing me things i need to do, things which scare me. I'm going to have the faith to do them...

The mighty humber bridge

I love Hull very much but i wish there were more jobs here. I got told yesterday that they only want me another week at work, bummer. So i'm looking for work again. It's teaching me so much about trusting God - having faith that he will answer my prayers and provide for me even though it more than likely wont be in my timing!! we were talking last night in alpha about having faith to believe that God will answer our prayers. It really challenged me to have faith to trust him to sustain me and provide a job for me while i am still here in Hull.

xxx

just a modern rock song

So last night was the Belle and Sebastian gig in Sheffeild - beautiful beautiful stuff. We were right at the front, i mean front row. It was a shame that Tommy reay wasn't with us but it meant we could go right to the front without being in anyone's way. We didn't get squashed nd there was room to dance. belle and sebastian fans are so polite! The set itself was stonking, brilliant combo of old and new, some to dance to and some to mull over. Jonathan David was a personal highlight, a song based on a friendship like that of Jonathan and David from the old testament, i always like a bit of bible in a song!! The gig has firmly wedged itself in my all time top five. mind you belle and sebastian could probably blow into a paper bag and i'd be blissfully happy!
Got a comment posted on thier website if your interested check out http://www.belleandsebastian.com/qa.php?about=tours&show=latest

If you have no idea who belle and sebastian are please buy the new album 'the life persuit' and educate yourself. you deserve it.

sick of being sick

Being ill really really sucks, this is now my forth day of it and i'm very very bored. had to take the day off work today which means that not only am i feeling poo but i'm missing out on a days wage :(
My head feels like its full of cotton wool, i'm unable to think straight and i keep sneezing. I'm refusing to let it beat me though. I desperately want to get better by thursday as I'm off to see the mighty Belle and Sebastian. So so excited, i've been waiting years for this moment and i'm not gonna let the flu beat me!!

Missing alpha to go to the gig but taking a lad from alpha with me so i think that makes it ok, we can have a mini alpha in the car on the way.

so your prayers please people

music

Ever discovered some beautiful music and played it over and over and over and over till it just goes round and round your head until eventually you get so sick of it you can never listen to it again? just me? answers on a post card or in the comments section...Today i have discovered Regina Spektor and i think i'm a little bit in love. Check out the track 'us' on her myspace page.

Discovering new music is one of my most favourite things in the world, it makes me so happy and a little bit warm inside.
I love God for inventing it, what an amazing way for us to be able to express ourselves to Him.

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing" Zephaniah 3:17

Imagine what God's music is like? Mindblowing i would suggest.

x x x

There's something about thursdays

Always seem to post on thursdays, interesting. Things today have been good, put on my armour this morning and went in prepared for the fight. God open loads of doors and conversations today at work, it was pretty amazing, again it makes me realise how much i underestimate Him. It's not dependant on me but on Him - thank goodness!! Shame i'm leaving work in a few weeks.

My job comes to an end soon so it's time to start the great job hunt again. I really really really dont want to back on the dole, really really dont. I know a job shouldn't define me but it does a little bit and so much more than benefit does. Also i get bored and sleep to much. i like the active loosing weight without trying me that comes with working!

Tom if you're reading this SEND ME MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT!!!!! NOW!!!! that is an order from your bossy older sister, listen to me or next time i see you i will slam your fingers in a door.

point made??

London is BIG

Went to London this weekend. It is big and small all at the same time. I like it. Jesus likes it, it's all good :) London is very fun. x x

missing Him

feeling a bit naughty cos i'm writing this from work, am bored though and haven't been given any work to do so i'm just waiting for the phone to ring. I love my job, when its busy its great but when its quiet it's very slow. Yesterday it was so slow i read all of 'Wild at Heart', awsome book.

I'm missing Jesus today and it sucks, i overslept and missed my quiet time today and i have been suffering for it all day. I keep trying to pray about alpha tonight but i cant focus. Any prayers sent my way would be much appreciated! It's not like i have been really bad today it's just that i'm missing Him a bit, weird i know.

Gonna go home and have a good bit of Jesus time after work before alpha. It think its more important than setting the tables.

Some one at work today told me i would make an awsome 'trendy vicar'. i nearly vomitted on the spot. prophetic?!...

I've Cracked!!!

For some reason yesterday Dan thought it would be a good idea to buy a large ammount of blue sherbert and to encourage me, pards as well as himself to eat it just before a leadership developement meeting at church.Not a good move!! For anyone one who knows me or indeed daniel or caroline you will know that we dont cope well with meetings due to our short attention spans. WMe and Dan both cracked quite early on yesterday but we seem to be coping better than we used to. maybe we're growing up....
The same can not be said for Adam Frankel.

daniel howard post sherbert pre leadership developement meeting

Alpha baby!!

Last night was the start of something special, it was the alpha launch night at church. Hurrah Hurrah! Alpha is brilliant, it gives people the freedom and safety to explore the important questions of life and to ultimately decide whether the claims christianty makes are true and if they are to respond to that. I LOVE IT!!!
This is an amazing C. S Lewis quote alpha uses on its flyers
"Christianity is a statement which, if false, is of no importance, and, if it is true is of infinate importance. The only thing it can not be is moderately important."
Bring it!!

Tables before alpha started - pretty, pretty

talk talk talk

Hi blog fans
Very annoying wednesday today, spent most of the day day dreaming about being back in bed - very frustrating and a waste of head space.
I have fixed my blog so that you dont have to be registere to leave comments now.

Go on i dare you...

Happy songs for happy people

Walking home on a rainy hull monday, ipod on shuffle, safe in the knowlege that all my music is decent and i should be in for a treat musically speaking. Then on it comes - 'You' by S club 7. ouch! But you know what? In amid all my music snobbery i love that tune. Practically skipped home, very very good mood now :)

life goes on

So now been back in Hull for about a week i think, its hard to pin point exactly because my life here seems like forever. Things have slotted back in to normality, job is a little dull, spend my days waiting for the phone to ring but it's generally good, things at church are going swimmingly.
I'm very excited because alpha starts on thursday - if i'm going on previous experiences of Alpha at vineyard it's going to be spectacular.
Then on friday i have a job interview which from what i can gather is with an organisation who work with excluded young people, i'm trying not to get too excited...

i'll keep you posted

Alex and his pants...

I said i would write more about the houseparty later so here it is. This is a photo of alex ross and his frozen underwear. Brilliant!!! Camp this year was ace as ever,God really touched our lives in a big way. I think heaven will be a little bit like the houseparty; full of Jesus and alot of fun. However houseparty is not real life so although i had a fab time, real life must begin again and that is where i'm meant to be. I'm now back in Hull and i love it. making the most of every second. x x x

Our God is a great big God

This new year has been stonking. I'm so unbelievabley excited about 2006. I hate the fact that i spend my whole life underestimating God. For months, since graduating really, i have felt like God's left me a bit to my own devices, sometimes i've got it right but most of the time i have got things very wrong. I have been desperately longing for Him to start revealing the next bit of his plan to me cos i've been getting very itchy feet! I've been learning alot of patience.
On 1st Jan He started speaking in a big way, in a massive God way. Praise the Lord. The next step is coming and i'm so excited, terrified but excited. He has been confirming all my questioning in the most mind blowing of ways. In not just one way but many. I love Jesus he is so ace. and the most amazing thing of all is that He loves me.
I know that all of this may seem a bit criptic but i want to keep everything and ponder it all for a while longer.

More about the houseparty later...